Life has been quite depressing lately. Life is so screwy, or I just make it more screwed up. I don’t know.

I think more than half the time that people say they don’t know, they actually do but feels that it’s just easier to just say you don’t know rather than trying to put it into words.

I’m not sure what’s going on, but I feel like the people that means most to me are drifting away from me. It’s like they are trying to shut me out and stay away from me. It’s most likely because they don’t have time to be bothered with me. It’s probably for their own good … or mine too. But(to be selfish) it hurts, I don’t want them to leave me, to drift away from me. I feel alone…

Then… there are other things that are begin to be so difficult and confusing. I miss the peaceful, blandness of my life. I had time to do my own thing, but now I can’t really get things done.

Soon enough, there would be a drastic change. High school is coming to an end. What will happen then?

I’ve been having the feeling of not being able to trust someone or people not trusting me. There some people that would tell u things to make u feel like they trust you but really, they don’t. Fake trust, it’s harsh, they would turn on u when you’re not looking. It’s hard when you trust them with everything but they actually don’t trust you that much.

There was another thing I wanted to talk about… but I can’t remember…so hah, that’s it.

Something happened on Thursday night, the results was not what I would expect. I just had to say some things that just didn’t have to said and that threw everyone off. I was inconsiderate, stupid and devious. I’d realized it a few days after, but it was kinda late. I was saying things for my own sake and didn’t consider the outcomes. I confused myself in the process and fucked people up. I didn’t know how much I would confuse people and how much it might hurt them. In the end, we were both selfish.

Well, that was my wonderful… weekend. Totally depressed, cried and wanted to OD on chocolate. (I only had some…)

This always happens, just usually not to this extent. I complicate the simplest things and only end up fucking myself over. I’m not good for the mind. Not for you, me or anyone else.