You know how sometime you want to change the why you think of something because it makes things difficult for you and it just makes things so complex. More than it should be.

Sometimes I wish that…. Life would be way better, more simple. Ever notice that thinking too much is sometime quite destructive.

A part of my doesn’t want to do that…it’s what you believe. You change it and it’s like you’re being robbed of the truth. Being lied to, believing the wrong thing.

I would love to if I could, I would be a way better person but I wouldn’t be able to do it.

I kinda feel that im living a lie. It’s like im two different ppl from home and from school, as if I put on a fake face at school.

I’m not a happy girl, as some may notice. I hate life and everything that has arose form mine. If I could, I would wish it away. Let ‘him’ take it all back. I don’t want any of it.

Maybe it’s a good thing that when im at school I’m a normal(close enough) and cheery person even when I wasn’t happy not more than 24 hours ago. It kind makes me feel worst when I feel down but I can just have my down day, I would be smiling again when im at school. (wow that sounds kinda sick, but its hard to explain, u know wat I mean)

I dont like to show that im not happy, mainly becasue i dont want ppl to question, but when im pissed off, i would really just let it all out, if i dont, it gets under my skin and that just makes it worst.

I don’t get me. Its so hard to understand what I feel or want, its so friggin frustrating. I seriously need a vacation (amy, vacation , woott!) Somehow, I don’t really want it to be summer, my summer is going to be more work and as summer come, the next year comes faster and I really don’t want time to pass by that fast. Im not ready to leave high school. I seriously have a problem with change, it freaks me out and especially when I don’t know what I should be doing. I don’t have any plans for the future. Not sure on what I want to do yet. (Im so screwed >_< )

I think I have had enough experiences with life already, can’t you just let me go?

You know what? I think my life might as well really be a lie. Let it not be real and I can just walk up from this nightmare(altho, I like nightmares, but not this kind).

-A life without fairness is always worth living; a life without significance isn’t.

-Matters of the heart is not to be thought about, it’s to felt; if you don’t feel it, not trouble yourself thinking about it.

~Love at first sight… there’s not such thing, you can’t love someone that you don’t know.  You can have a crush on someone at first sight. That would just be a 1^st level crush that potentially develops into love; if your lucky.

Crush-Like-Love… there are many levels.

1^st level crush- attracted to a person’s exterior
2^nd level crush- infatuation to a person’s exterior and the way that they carry themselves
3^rd level crush- a person’s personality that draws you to them, makes you want to know more about them

1^st level likings- you’re attracted to a person’s personality, their interests, feeling a connection with them
2^nd level likings- loving their character, liking to be near them, seeing them makes you happy, you feel a strong connection.

1^st level love- you adore everything about them, even the bad, just talking to them makes your day, you have a strong connection with them, you sense what they are thinking and feeling.
2^nd level love- you can’t stand to be apart from them, they are always on your mind, you love everything about them, it’s like they are perfect, you would do anything for them, you know them more than they know themselves.

Have you ever notice that liking someone is suppose to make you so happy, but in a twist, it can swirl you into total devastation?

The higher you rise, the further you fall. Right?

Would you tell someone you like them, even when you know that they probably don’t like you the same way? Just for the sake of getting it out, letting it out? But, if you’re friends with them, wont that create an awkwardness? What happens if they try to avoid you afterwards? Wont you regret it?

Would you ever let yourself like someone enough to say that you rather be upset everyday than to not be able to see them everyday? Is liking someone worth that?

You cant get over someone until you move on. I believe that to be quite true. In anything that relate to crushes and love not working out, you go through curtain stages(mostly girls). The first thing is denial, shock and in disbelief, kidding yourself. The second thing is obsession, you can’t get he person out of your mind, over thinking everything. The third thing is anger, you’re moody, you start to hate everything about them and may want to hurt them. Then, you just go back to obsession and maybe anger too until you get to the fourth stage which is the moving on stage, liking someone else and literally moving on.

The real troubling matter is, are you just obsessing or do u really like the person. It’s hard to tell, sometimes your mind can easily make you feel one way or another.